A Most Wicked and Dasterdly Plan
by Draton
Summary: A short look at Madara, his past victories, and his most wicked plan to date! A Crackshot.


**A Most Wicked and Dastardly Plan**

Madara smiled, not that you could tell behind that mask, as he rubbed his hands together in A Most Evil Fashion. Today… Today was the day his plans came to fruition, another step onto the path of global dominion! Err, Peace, right, he meant peace.

Months of planning. Stalking the target to learn the perfect time and location. Weeks of studying the perfect cloaking technique (read; looking for a way to force his sharingan to do it) He was finally ready. His mind briefly turned to the half dozen minor assassinations that helped him get to here, the subtle manipulations of his pawns… Err, ninjas in his employ… Really, Zetsu hated being referred to as a pawn. One wouldn't think a store clerk, 3 mail boys and a dog walker would have been a threat in any way shape or form to this particular operation, but hey, you never know. He had also paused to dance on the Senju memorial grave, and piss on the headstones, but that's slightly less relevant.

He slowly ghosted into position suppressing dark chuckles, of Evil, and smiled grimly. With a glance to his watch, his eyes twitched ever so slightly in frustration. Sometimes it doesn't pay to arrive hours ahead of your target. He paused to chuckle at his trademark Ninja Mickey Mouse. "Look at those adorable little kunai!" He whispered under his breath.

With nothing to do but wait, he found his mind drifting back, back to when it all started, when that stupid Izuna was being a poo poo head and stole his Ninja Mouse coloring book! Wait… to far, right when Hashirama stole his rightful idea of making a ninja village! It was all His idea damnit! That stupid tree hugging hippinja (a hippy ninja) could NEVER have planned anything of that magnitude. (In reality both of them were so damn high at the time it really can't be known which came up with the idea.) And then his clan gets all up in arms just cause he scooped out his brothers eyes in the middle of the night. Like that was his fault! (Yes, yes it WAS his fault.) Bah, the Uchiha of Konoha had become weak, they deserved to be culled. (Debatable, though the Hyuuga would agree) In the end, their unfortunate demise was dictated by, The Plan. So he and Hashirama fought, and damn if he didn't get his ass kicked. C'mon, how was the hell did that Senju prick suddenly manage to subdue his pet of win, the Kyuubi so freaking easily? What kinda crazy overpowered bloodline limit was that anyways? (The sharingan kind.)

Anyways after running away, err, giving into strategic retreat, he waited, and plotted, in a rather lovely cave, but that bit isn't important. It was an AWESOME cave. A cave of win, truly. If ever there was a cave of unadulterated awesomeness… Wait, where was I? Right, hiding, err, evasion tactics, anyway, after living in The Cave for awhile (read; Decades) he decided he'd make his own village show the world! Of course unlike Orochimaru, Madara was never really big on the skills necessary to create a village from scratch, so he committed the biggest theft in the shinobi world, and stole the village of Kirigakure. This would later prove to be a mistake, as someone who heavily relies on fire jutsu to be in a constantly damp environment. Anyways, it was from that point his reign of Terror began! Well, at least until he figured out the whole fire+water=bad thing. (which again, took decades.) From there he tried bio-chemical warfare, but that didn't pan out. It DID cause a mild rash to spread like wildfire through Grass country, who would forever refer to it as the Month of Itch.

The Uchiha was roused from thoughts of past conquests as The Prey entered the room. His face turned into a grim smile, he snaked forward in the shadows, his cloaking on full, reached out... **THUMP CRASH. **"_Victory is Mine! Ha!"_ With grim satisfaction he slipped out of the building, unheard and unseen by all. With a quick teleport he was off to the Akatsuki clubhouse, err, lair. Perhaps Tobi could get Kisame to make him a snack, Kisame made the best sushi after all.

O0o0o0o0o

Back at the scene of 'carnage' Konohamaru got up off the ground and looked around confused, someone had stepped on his Scarf of Win! His eyes locked on a blond Gennin, "You! You tripped me!"

The End….

Or is It?

A/N: I really couldn't help it, after all the crap in the manga with Madara being this ultimate evil badass I just HAD to write this. I may write more, but it's likely this will remain a oneshot.

Oh, Thanks to Celowin for helping me Beta this.


End file.
